How Not to Write a Product Review Post

A how-to guide for the used car salesmen of the internet

Photo by Heidi Walley on Unsplash

Hey there, big guy. Yeah, you. I bet you’re here to learn how not to write a product review, amirite?

I know that because why the heck else would you be reading this article? But it kinda seemed like I was reading your mind there for a moment, didn’t it? Yeah, I know.

You just laughed inside your head, right? Yeah, me too, because you and me — we’re the same.

At least, that’s what I want you to believe so that I can sell you stuff.

The Intro: Because I Need This to Seem Like a Real Blog Post

I’m going to make this as short as possible. I don’t have all day here.

I need to write, like, twenty more of these on different topics so I can jam them full of affiliate links.

I won’t say anything about affiliate links upfront, though. I’ll save that for the fine print at the end.

Don’t want you to know, err, I mean to think that I don’t have your best interest at heart. I do. Really. Honest to goodness. I swear by the blue hair on Bart Simpson’s mom’s head.