22 Signs You’re Not Meant to Be
The more signs you see, the less you’re meant to be.
Not every couple is meant to be.
That’s not a pretty idea — especially if you really want the person you’re with to be your one and only.
But the facts don’t lie.
You can be good but not good for each other. If you want to know whether you are really meant to be, here are 22 red flags of a doomed relationship.
1) You Hold Different Values and Beliefs
When two people aren’t compatible, it shows in the values and beliefs they hold.
Even if you share a similar outlook on life, not being on the same page when it comes to matters of morals, ethics, and values can spell disaster for a relationship.
One person is trying to live by certain standards.
Meanwhile, their partner is more carefree. It can be hard to keep things balanced without one person feeling like they’re constantly being judged or reprimanded.
It’s possible but very difficult.
And life is already difficult. Your relationship should be a place of peace and calm, not another storm.
2) You Don’t Have the Same Vision for the Future
If one person wants to settle down and start a family while the other is focused on their career or has no real plan for what’s next, that could spell trouble for your relationship in the long run.
Even if you try to compromise, it might not work out if both of you don’t have the same outcome in mind.
The two of you are on different trajectories.
It’s important to be able to envision a future together — and sometimes that means delaying a few dreams or aspirations.
Without being able to do that, it might be time to move on.
3) They Are Not Supportive of Your Goals, Ambitions, or Dreams
Someone who doesn’t take your goals and aspirations seriously — or worse, is actively trying to discourage them—is someone who doesn’t want you to succeed.
This lack of support could indicate that the relationship isn’t built upon a healthy foundation.
Do they actively support your goals?
Do they laugh at your dreams?
“A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends, your dreams, or your dignity.” — Dinkar Kalotra
Everyone wants their partner to be supportive and encouraging. If this isn’t part of the dynamic, then it could be time for a change.
4) There Is a Lack of Trust
No relationship can survive without trust.
If the person you’re dating regularly snoops through your phone or questions where you’ve been every night — even when you’ve been with them — it’s more than likely indicative of an underlying issue.
It might feel like they are simply keeping tabs on you out of insecurity rather than actual love.
Any bond without trust will fall apart eventually.
5) You Argue More Than You Talk to Each Other
If you find yourself bickering with your partner more often than having meaningful conversations, it’s probably a sign that the relationship has taken a turn for the worst.
Arguments aren’t necessarily bad.
Most couples disagree about certain things. But if they become frequent and overwhelming, there’s likely something deeper at play.
It’s about balance.
How often do you argue? How often do you talk peacefully, playfully, and enjoyably?
If things are skewed far to the “arguing” side, that’s a clear problem.
6) Your Partner Never Apologizes
Personal accountability is absolutely essential in a healthy relationship.
When someone can’t even bring themselves to admit they’re wrong or apologize for their mistakes, this can signify larger underlying problems in the relationship.
People who don’t take responsibility for their flaws demonstrate immaturity and a lack of self-awareness.
In a relationship, it’s rarely one person’s fault.
We are in this together — it’s not about blame, it’s about responsibility.
7) Your Relationship Lacks Real Intimacy
It takes work to build an intimate bond, where both partners feel heard and understood by one another.
If there is a noticeable decline in intimacy, either emotional or physical, then it could point to bigger issues within the relationship.
Listening, connection, and sex all matter in a relationship.
If any of these three things are not going very well (according to both of you), then something is amiss.
We all need our needs met.
8) You Feel Like You’re Settling in the Relationship
One of the major signs that a relationship isn’t going anywhere is when it feels like you’re settling instead of flourishing together.
“A healthy relationship is a feast of affection/giving for both people; not one receiving crumbs and trying to convince themselves it's enough.” — Shannon Thomas
If there’s no progress being made in terms of expanding shared interests or deepening connections then there’s likely something missing in the dynamic between you two.
It could be trust, communication, or respect.
Really, whatever emotion makes them feel safe and secure. If something is missing, if there’s no excitement, you need to address the issue before moving forward.
9) Your Partner Has Difficulty Expressing Their Emotions
Not everyone is the same when it comes to expressing their feelings.
If your partner consistently avoids discussing their emotions or appears unable to do so in a constructive manner, then this could be a red flag.
However, take some caution here.
Being able to communicate clearly and calmly about how one is feeling is an essential component of any successful relationship.
True story.
Yet, you must also listen to and honor their feelings when they share them.
One misstep here early in a relationship can cause a partner to shut down indefinitely.
10) You Feel Like You Can’t Be Yourself
Love should feel free.
If you find yourself constantly trying to change who you are to meet someone else’s expectations, then that’s not only unhealthy.
It’s also unsustainable.
“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, its not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.” — Robin Williams
Everyone deserves unconditional acceptance from their partner (up to a reasonable point).
You should feel comfortable being silly, goofy, quirky, or weird.
11) Your Partner Doesn’t Listen to What You’re Saying
Communication is key in any relationship.
Without it, problems will begin to arise over time. Listening is just as important as speaking.
If one person continuously talks without paying attention to what the other has to say then there’s no room for meaningful discussion or understanding between both parties.
This can lead to feelings of frustration and helplessness that may be difficult to overcome.
12) You’re Constantly Competing With Each Other
Constant antagonistic competition usually indicates that you are not meant to be.
The emphasized word here is “antagonistic.”
Because there’s nothing wrong with a little competition — as long as it is with positive intent.
In order for a healthy bond between two people to develop, both need to feel wholly valued and respected. Competition shouldn’t be about domination, control, and “putting your partner in their place.”
13) There’s an Unequal Amount of Effort
Each partner should match the other’s effort and energy.
If one party doesn’t appear willing (or able!) to make a similar effort as the other, then this could mean they don’t value the connection as much as they should.
As you might imagine, this could spell disaster down the line.
When I say “effort,” I mean actions and behaviors, not words or promises. Those are good, too, but they are not enough.
14) You Start Keeping Secrets From Each Other
Relationships are built on trust.
So it’s really no surprise that one of the biggest signs that you’re not meant to be with someone is when there’s a lack of openness with each other.
Keeping secrets from your partner suggests that you don’t feel comfortable or secure enough around them to be completely honest about your feelings and experiences.
Here are four quick examples of how this kind of behavior can manifest in a relationship:
- Not Sharing Big Life Decisions. If one partner consistently withholds important decisions from the other, then it could indicate a lack of respect between both parties.
- Hiding Your True Feelings. Being able to express oneself freely and honestly is essential in any relationship — if one partner isn’t forthcoming about their true emotions (be they positive or negative) then this suggests there’s an uncomfortable atmosphere between them.
- Keeping Financial Decisions A Secret. Money problems are already stressful enough as it is, so failing to share financial concerns between partners only makes things worse over time.
- Holding Onto Past Relationships As A Secret. Even though some couples prefer not to talk about exes, past relationships still need to be mentioned at some point otherwise mistrust may grow between both partners. It’s important for everyone involved in the present relationship to understand its context within everyone else’s history.
15) One Person Is Dominating the Relationship
Control has no place in a good relationship.
An imbalance of personal power and freedom is not a good thing. It’s actually a sign that something is deeply amiss.
Don’t go down that road.
Confidence and assertiveness are healthy qualities when checked.
But dominance is harsh and unforgiving. One person is clearly the “boss” of the relationship, making all the decisions and never consulting the other.
There is no equality and probably no real love.
16) You Are Always Fighting Over Trivial Things
Every little thing shouldn’t be a problem.
Every conversation shouldn’t feel like an intense battle of wills.
When arguments arise over things like small misunderstandings or miscommunications, this could be an indication that someone isn’t taking the time to listen or talk things out properly.
It’s important for both partners in a relationship to understand each other’s point of view.
Even if you don’t necessarily agree–otherwise disagreements can easily spiral out of control.
17) Neither One of You Are Willing To Compromise
If neither of you is willing to make concessions, then no meaningful progress will ever be made.
Everyone needs room for self-expression within any kind of partnership–without it, resentments start building up until eventually there isn’t anything left but an irreparable rift.
One person should not be responsible for making all the compromises.
Eventually, they will build resentment toward their partner. That resentment will bubble up into anger and leak out in passive-aggressive ways.
18) Your Actions Contradict Your Words
Words mean nothing without action.
If one partner continually says one thing but does another then trust will soon become eroded from both sides.
If your partner keeps saying they will change, but they don’t, watch out.
On the flip side, if someone says that they really want to see you but never actually make it happen, they probably aren’t that interested.
And the two of you are likely not meant to be.
Genuineness and sincerity are necessary components for any successful relationship.
19) There’s Just Constant Criticism From Either Side
Constant criticism is a definite red flag in any relationship.
If either partner is always attacking the other verbally then it suggests that they don’t see any value in what the other person has to say — which only leads to hurtful situations for all involved.
A lack of appreciation for someone else’s point of view often indicates that one partner feels better than the other, leading to an unhealthy power dynamic that can quickly take over both people’s lives.
Constant criticism can also lead to long-term issues such as low self-esteem or anxiety.
That’s definitely not worth it.
20) There Are No Fun or Exciting Moments Anymore
Relationships are not entertainment.
Intensity is probably one of the most overrated qualities many people go after in a partner.
Yet, a relationship that is always intense or filled with deep lows and high highs might not be healthy. A healthy relationship often feels boring to someone used to the toxic intensity.
With that said, you should have fun sometimes.
Can you enjoy being with your partner in the grocery store? Then you are probably ok.
21) Jealousy Often Interferes
Jealousy is a normal emotion that can be healthy in small doses.
But when it becomes unrestrained and obsessive, it can lead to serious issues in any relationship.
This kind of unhealthy jealousy usually stems from feelings of insecurity and feelings of inadequacy within one’s own self.
Jealousy can manifest itself in a variety of ways such as excessive monitoring of a partner’s activities, accusations without proof, or even verbal and emotional abuse.
This behavior is incredibly detrimental to any relationship because it breeds mistrust, resentment, and anger.
All the necessary ingredients for a relationship disaster.
22) Great Hesitancy
A healthy relationship should have both parties feeling excited and secure in the decisions they make together.
But if you feel a sense of hesitancy or fear when it comes to taking the next big step with your partner, then it could be a sign that something just isn’t right.
It could be your intuition or gut telling you that something is wrong.
Cold feet are normal when it comes to big decisions like marriage or moving in together.
These moments can often feel daunting as they bring up thoughts of change and uncertainty, which can leave us feeling confused and uneasy. If you start to feel uncomfortable with the commitment you’re about to make even after talking it out with your partner, don’t ignore your feelings.
Your intuition is usually on point.
Listen to what it’s telling you and try not to let yourself be swayed into making any quick decisions.
Here is a good video about signs that you’re not meant to be:
Final Thoughts: 22 Signs You’re Not Meant To Be
These signs may appear small but they generally lead to deeper issues if left unchecked.
Alone, each one may not seem that significant.
But, added up, they spell disaster for nearly any couple.
Note: This content was written with both human creativity and AI. 100% of it was reviewed, edited, and approved by me.
